Ouch

Word to the wise...in May? The seis isn't as much fun as the cinco.

Undeniable Hotness

It truly is a mystery why Classy is a single gal. Shouldn't she have the market covered on men who fancy that whole Indian Princess/Genie-In-A-Bottle combo?
By the way. The "head-dress" is the garter that comes WITH the El Chico margarita. Because a garter classes up anything.

Birthday hotness

When Margaritas are involved, what more can be expected than a particular kind of ladies night and photo documentation? It was a night of hotness for all to see.

First, let's study the crazed birthday girl herself, thrilled to be 23.









And looking equally crazy, her partner-in-hotness/crime.











In Commando's defense, the wonk (eye, nostril, mouth, take your pick!) may be due to the fact that she had combined heavy doses of cough syrup with the margaritas. Although some have argued that's still no excuse to rock a bandana in a bar.

And now for special guest speciment of hotness, Dana:

Ah hell, Dana kind of owns it here. She shouldn't be on So Hot Right Now in an ironic sense. But she is, because Commando's kinda mean.

Winter Hotness

If there is one thing that Commando hates, it is the Ugg boot. She hated them three years ago when everyone in Hollywood started wearing them (in LA. Where there is no snow, and thus no need for boots so warm they are SURELY going to stink after three long walks), and she hated them when this fall Classy decided to purchase some three years too late.




Even on the one Kentucky day when there was actually enough snow to merit boots, Commando continued to hate. There just ain't anything hot about them.
Of course, when you own red patent leather boots purchased at Banana Republic for $15, you're in a position to criticize. Especially, when you have just the snowflake sweater to accessorize them.

Wonky Pop-pins

Ashlee (even spelled phonetically, Hot!) deserves to take her rightful place here on So Hot Right Now. I mean, just look at her... to those who say she has no talent, I scoff in thy general direction. Clearly, her one and only talent, BUT a talent nonetheless, is being practically wonky in every possible way.

Frightening!

We be pirates! Or actually, Commando is a pirate and Classy is...a rider of the Short Bus?

In other news, it's time for our very first quote of brilliance here on So Hot Right Now, courtesy of the person who USED to co-habitate with Commando, Mr. Parker. Mr. Parker was kind enough to send a Maker's Mark Christmas card to the LP (life partner) domicile, addressed to Ms. [Heathen Commando's real name] and Life Partner.

And he said:
"I really need to make it up to Ky to add my two cents to your bank of crazy."

BANK OF CRAZY. That is it--the LP domicile is hereby re-christened.

5 years later the Hotness continues

This is Classy's favorite photo of the Commando, because Commando is obviously so DAMN proud of her hotness. It's as if someone said, "where's the hotness?" and she and the Shah twin on her left raised their hands.

Not only is Commando enormous in this photo, and with several chins, but she is RAISING her hand as if she has the answer to the million dollar question, and poor Jason is reacting to the hotness as one only can when Commando's armpit is exposed. He embodies the hotness here of someone exposed to the putrid odors of the dead.

Exhibit C, for Classy

Welcome to the hotness, this is what happens when we watch one of the most terrible movies ever made, The Wedding Date, and try to impersonate the only awesome character; the drunk british cousin who dared ask; "Who wants to buy my hoo-ha a drink?"

Hotness Exhibit: Commando

Oh Holy Hotness! Commando is getting her eat on.

Not only does she have food in her teeth (and is she choking? Classy Lady, she's CHOKING and yet still you are just standing back and taking photographs? Cruel bitch!) but she's also rockin' an off the shoulder sweatshirt in a way Jennifer Beals and Jennifer Lopez NEVER could.

Of course, that may be because they don't indulge their munchies at 1 in the morning and so have no shoulders to speak of.

The hottest part of this photo, besides the spinach in the teeth, is most definitely the HANDLE of liquor placed strategically in the foreground.

Exhibit A: Double Shot

The hotness only grows with alcohol. Brace yourselves, Zenu knows the future holds many more photos like this one.